you

19th February 2018.

it has been 5 years and 4 months since you're gone. and it still saddens me every time the memory of me knowing you're gone. knowing you're no longer breathing. knowing that i've lost you, permanently. forever.

I've always wonder this : how, can your death, have so much impact on me, enough to make it hard for me to breathe by just remembering it? how, when we are just friends whom occasionally texted and shared a laugh or two?

i know i am not supposed to do this but i just can't help it.

i don't have anyone for me to grief with

.